My husband bought me a GPS a couple of years ago for our anniversary. I actually think it was for both of us, but he said it was for me. :) One day, a while after I received it, I decided to just take a drive to wherever. Now typically, when I embark on such an adventure it is short lived. I am not a risk taker and I hate getting lost. But that day was different. On that day I concluded that it really didn't matter where I went because I could program "HOME" into my GPS and I would be directed back to that place--HOME. Can I tell you how excited I was! I knew that no matter where I went, no matter what turns I took, I could get back home. There was such freedom. I could just enjoy the ride and when I was finished with my adventure, the GPS would lead me home.
There was a lesson in that for me, but I would love to hear yours first...
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Sunday, April 03, 2011
A Story in Six Words
The ladies at Proverbs 31 Ministries are providing several opportunities to win a scholarship to this years's She Speaks Conference. This latest opportunity is quite a challenge--create a story using only six words. In my mind, that just wasn't possible. My opinion quickly changed when they provided this example by Ernest Hemingway: “FOR SALE. BABY SHOES. NEVER WORN.” Indeed, a story can be conveyed with only six words. And so, my six word story:
REACHING, REJECTED. WOUNDED, WITHDRAWN. REACHING, RESCUED.
Can you see a story in those six words? Can you create a story in six words? I would love to hear your thoughts. And then I will share mine.
REACHING, REJECTED. WOUNDED, WITHDRAWN. REACHING, RESCUED.
Can you see a story in those six words? Can you create a story in six words? I would love to hear your thoughts. And then I will share mine.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
A Place of Vulnerability
When I began this blog a year ago, I knew it would not be an easy thing to do. I love writing and sharing God's love and truth with women, but I knew that God wanted me to go deeper than I was comfortable. I am a private person, whose heart sometimes remains guarded even from those who love me. I don't like to be exposed, to be vulnerable and yet that continues to be what God calls me to. Life isn't always pretty and the lessons we learn often involve us seeing ourselves in light of our imperfections. But when we emerge from those experiences, we have the joy of bearing a little more of the image of Christ.
Today I have decided to share an experience that happened some time ago, but allowed me to be drawn closer to the heart of God.
Some time ago, I was in the store with a friend. We were on opposite sides of a display looking at books. I saw someone reach across the display to get my attention. I was pleased to look up and see someone that I used to have weekly contact with. She was just an acquaintance, but the smile she offered me made me feel so welcomed. No sooner had she smiled at me than she recognized my friend who was standing across from me, but next to her. In less than 20 seconds, she had forgotten that I existed and the two of them were engaged in a very animated conversation.
Now initially, my feelings were hurt. I stood there in stunned silence. Everything in me wanted to retreat to a little corner and allow the tear dam which was threatening to burst, do just that. Now perhaps that sounds a bit drastic to you, but rejection causes me to withdraw to a place within myself where logical thinking does not exist. I remained there and watched the two of them engage in conversation for what seemed like an hour, but was certainly not more than two or three minutes. Not once did the individual even glance up at me, acknowledge that I was there or apologize for forgetting about me. I wanted to scream out, “Hello, I am still here. Remember me? The one you were talking to?” Of course I didn’t; I just remained still in disbelief. I thought it was childish of me, and decided that I would not share any of that experience.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of the story. I thought about that ordeal all night and into the next day. I asked God why on earth this was something that bothered me so greatly. Why couldn’t I just get over it? Was it my pride? Was it jealousy? Or was it once again that issue of not fitting in?
Later, as I was standing over my kitchen stove, I felt a gentle whisper in my heart causing my breath to catch. The question was very clear—how many times had I done the very same thing to God? How many times did I allow others, or other distractions to take my attention away from Him? How many times did I begin with my full attention and focus on him only to be pulled away by someone or something? How many times had I rejected Him? My heart was grieved as I considered how I had hurt the One I love so dearly. I could just see Him standing there waiting for me to return my attention to Him, longing for the time together that we were beginning to have only to have me turn my focus elsewhere.
My heart ached, the tears fell, and all I wanted to do was to spend time with Him. I am thankful that Christ is always there with open arms and even when I turn my attention away from Him, He remains attentive to me. And when I cry to Him……He answers.
The sharing of today's "unveiling" post was prompted by a scholarship opportunity provided by Ann Voskamp to attend the She Speaks Conference in July, sponsored by Proverbs 31 ministries. The Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father. It is my desire to attend that conference this year as a way to help fulfill my heart's desire to serve God and serve you, His daughters, as he so directs my steps.
Today I have decided to share an experience that happened some time ago, but allowed me to be drawn closer to the heart of God.
Some time ago, I was in the store with a friend. We were on opposite sides of a display looking at books. I saw someone reach across the display to get my attention. I was pleased to look up and see someone that I used to have weekly contact with. She was just an acquaintance, but the smile she offered me made me feel so welcomed. No sooner had she smiled at me than she recognized my friend who was standing across from me, but next to her. In less than 20 seconds, she had forgotten that I existed and the two of them were engaged in a very animated conversation.
Now initially, my feelings were hurt. I stood there in stunned silence. Everything in me wanted to retreat to a little corner and allow the tear dam which was threatening to burst, do just that. Now perhaps that sounds a bit drastic to you, but rejection causes me to withdraw to a place within myself where logical thinking does not exist. I remained there and watched the two of them engage in conversation for what seemed like an hour, but was certainly not more than two or three minutes. Not once did the individual even glance up at me, acknowledge that I was there or apologize for forgetting about me. I wanted to scream out, “Hello, I am still here. Remember me? The one you were talking to?” Of course I didn’t; I just remained still in disbelief. I thought it was childish of me, and decided that I would not share any of that experience.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of the story. I thought about that ordeal all night and into the next day. I asked God why on earth this was something that bothered me so greatly. Why couldn’t I just get over it? Was it my pride? Was it jealousy? Or was it once again that issue of not fitting in?
Later, as I was standing over my kitchen stove, I felt a gentle whisper in my heart causing my breath to catch. The question was very clear—how many times had I done the very same thing to God? How many times did I allow others, or other distractions to take my attention away from Him? How many times did I begin with my full attention and focus on him only to be pulled away by someone or something? How many times had I rejected Him? My heart was grieved as I considered how I had hurt the One I love so dearly. I could just see Him standing there waiting for me to return my attention to Him, longing for the time together that we were beginning to have only to have me turn my focus elsewhere.
My heart ached, the tears fell, and all I wanted to do was to spend time with Him. I am thankful that Christ is always there with open arms and even when I turn my attention away from Him, He remains attentive to me. And when I cry to Him……He answers.
The sharing of today's "unveiling" post was prompted by a scholarship opportunity provided by Ann Voskamp to attend the She Speaks Conference in July, sponsored by Proverbs 31 ministries. The Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father. It is my desire to attend that conference this year as a way to help fulfill my heart's desire to serve God and serve you, His daughters, as he so directs my steps.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Searching for Fulfillment
Have you ever been thirsty? I mean really thirsty? So thirsty, that no matter how much you drank, it just wasn't enough? Perhaps you tried to quench your thirst with soda or juice or even milk. And then finally, when you got that nice cold drink of water, you realized that it was the only thing that could truly satisfy your thirst. Have you ever found yourself searching for fulfillment? Perhaps you have longed to be fulfilled by someone or something only to find that there is no fulfillment. It seems that the harder you search, the more unfulfilled you become. Not too long ago, I had the great privilege of joining together with a group of women to discuss what it means to be totally fulfilled. In essence, we discussed how to find the fulfillment we are so often searching for.
In John 4 we meet a woman from Samaria on her way to a well to get water. She recognizes that she has a need and sets out to do what is necessary to meet that need. At the same time, we meet Christ who understands that this woman's need is far deeper than the physical thirst she is coming to quench. And He sets out to meet that need. I love this encounter because it reminds me of the extent to which Christ will go to help me see that my search for fulfillment can never be met outside of Him. It reminds me of the patience He has with me even when I don't grasp what He is showing me immediately.
As women, we search for fulfillment in so many things. Like the woman in our story, we sometimes think we find what we need to be fulfilled only to be met with emptiness and a longing that continues to grow. We remain thirsty and repeatedly return to what is familiar to satisfy or comfort us, only to be continually disappointed. It is a cycle that will continue until we surrender whatever that thing is, to the One who desperately wants to fill us with Himself.
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14 (NIV)
We will never be fully filled apart from Christ. No matter what we might think we are thirsting for, the real thirst is for a deeper intimacy with Christ. Won't you take the drink that He is offering?
In John 4 we meet a woman from Samaria on her way to a well to get water. She recognizes that she has a need and sets out to do what is necessary to meet that need. At the same time, we meet Christ who understands that this woman's need is far deeper than the physical thirst she is coming to quench. And He sets out to meet that need. I love this encounter because it reminds me of the extent to which Christ will go to help me see that my search for fulfillment can never be met outside of Him. It reminds me of the patience He has with me even when I don't grasp what He is showing me immediately.
As women, we search for fulfillment in so many things. Like the woman in our story, we sometimes think we find what we need to be fulfilled only to be met with emptiness and a longing that continues to grow. We remain thirsty and repeatedly return to what is familiar to satisfy or comfort us, only to be continually disappointed. It is a cycle that will continue until we surrender whatever that thing is, to the One who desperately wants to fill us with Himself.
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14 (NIV)
We will never be fully filled apart from Christ. No matter what we might think we are thirsting for, the real thirst is for a deeper intimacy with Christ. Won't you take the drink that He is offering?
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
What If?
It has been quite a while since I have entered a post on my blog. It is one of the things that I feared would happen once I made the commitment to this blog--I would get started on it and then not follow through. There are six people who know of my blogging attempts and each of you has asked me essentially the same thing--when am I going to add a new post. Of course I have responded with my reasons, but the underlying reason is what I spoke of in my first post: FEAR. In this particular instance, it is my fear of expectations or more specifically the fear of not measuring up to expectations. What if I write something that someone thinks is silly? What if I make a mistake in something that I say? What if I offend someone? What if no one visits my blog? What if? What if? What if? Well, it is true that all of those things could happen but I won't even have the opportunity to find out if I cling to my fear of what may be. I knew that this wouldn't be an easy journey for me when I began and so once again I inhale, close my eyes and begin this journey again.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Place to Belong
Have you ever asked yourself, "Where do I belong?", "Where do I fit in?", "Do I belong here?" There are times and seasons in each of our lives when those questions may seem overwhelming and without an answer. But this quest for belonging, which is shared by many women, is one that begs for an answer. I have certainly found myself asking those questions and searching for answers on more occasions than I would care to admit. But I find comfort in knowing that the only way I can ever expect to find answers is to first admit that I need them. And so, I share with you my quest.
As I reflect back on my life, I believe that this need to feel like I belong began very early. I was the youngest of four girls and never quite fit in with my older sisters growing up. It's not that I can blame them as there were six year separating me from the sister closest to me in age. Thankfully, as we got older things changed but the early years weren't met with a lot of acceptance.
The event that precipitated my most recent search happened a few weeks ago. I attended an exercise class at my son's school. Upon my arrival, women were clustered together in the foyer having a discussion. I felt like an outsider as I asked whether they were there for the exercise class. Once the class started, I watched as some of the women were able to easily follow the instructor's moves (thus fitting in well) and others enjoyed laughing and joking with one another. I, however was not able to do either. I made attempts to insert myself into those groups but I came away from that time more convinced that I didn't belong in that environment. It wasn't that they were purposely excluding me, it was simply that I did not belong within this established group.
And so my questions began anew. I asked God why it was so difficult for me to find a place to fit in and whether I was wrong for having that desire or need. It was a common refrain from my lips to His ears, particularly over the past 2 years as I struggled with the pain of having to leave behind a place where I felt I belonged--truly belonged. But on this particular time before the Lord, He did an amazing thing for me. He reminded me of a very wonderful truth--I BELONG TO HIM!
During my morning quiet time, I was looking for something in God's word that would speak directly to me, and in turn speak to you on this concept of belonging. I felt drawn to a very familiar passage--Jeremiah 31:3:
"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness"
Now I must tell you that my initial reaction was not one of deep gratitude and thanksgiving. I knew this passage and had read it many times. As a matter of fact, I said, "Okay, Lord this is a very familiar verse to me and I was kind of looking for something a little more profound. I don't see how this has anything to do with belonging." I am sure that at that point, God just smiled at me and then waited for what He knew would eventually come. After I finished having my "know-it-all" moment, I felt compelled to look deeper at this scripture.
The word LOVE screamed at me to give it attention and so I did. I did a search on the specific word love used in that verse and found that it came from the Hebrew word Hesed which refers to a love that is loyal, steadfast, faithful and stresses the idea of "a belonging together" of those involved in the love relationship. There it was! This love that God has for ME, this love that God has for YOU is a love that says we belong to Him! Oh, how I hope you are able to fully grasp this.
As women, connection is important to us-- even to the most avowed loner. We are emotional beings and find those connections essential to our well being. That is how God has created us. And although God has designed us for relationships with others, we must never lose site of the fact that He first designed us for relationship and fellowship with Him.
No matter what season of life you or I are in, whether we feel that we belong in one circle or the next; it doesn't matter. WE BELONG in an amazing love relationship with God.
And that answer was well worth the wait. :)
As I reflect back on my life, I believe that this need to feel like I belong began very early. I was the youngest of four girls and never quite fit in with my older sisters growing up. It's not that I can blame them as there were six year separating me from the sister closest to me in age. Thankfully, as we got older things changed but the early years weren't met with a lot of acceptance.
The event that precipitated my most recent search happened a few weeks ago. I attended an exercise class at my son's school. Upon my arrival, women were clustered together in the foyer having a discussion. I felt like an outsider as I asked whether they were there for the exercise class. Once the class started, I watched as some of the women were able to easily follow the instructor's moves (thus fitting in well) and others enjoyed laughing and joking with one another. I, however was not able to do either. I made attempts to insert myself into those groups but I came away from that time more convinced that I didn't belong in that environment. It wasn't that they were purposely excluding me, it was simply that I did not belong within this established group.
And so my questions began anew. I asked God why it was so difficult for me to find a place to fit in and whether I was wrong for having that desire or need. It was a common refrain from my lips to His ears, particularly over the past 2 years as I struggled with the pain of having to leave behind a place where I felt I belonged--truly belonged. But on this particular time before the Lord, He did an amazing thing for me. He reminded me of a very wonderful truth--I BELONG TO HIM!
During my morning quiet time, I was looking for something in God's word that would speak directly to me, and in turn speak to you on this concept of belonging. I felt drawn to a very familiar passage--Jeremiah 31:3:
"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:
I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness"
Now I must tell you that my initial reaction was not one of deep gratitude and thanksgiving. I knew this passage and had read it many times. As a matter of fact, I said, "Okay, Lord this is a very familiar verse to me and I was kind of looking for something a little more profound. I don't see how this has anything to do with belonging." I am sure that at that point, God just smiled at me and then waited for what He knew would eventually come. After I finished having my "know-it-all" moment, I felt compelled to look deeper at this scripture.
The word LOVE screamed at me to give it attention and so I did. I did a search on the specific word love used in that verse and found that it came from the Hebrew word Hesed which refers to a love that is loyal, steadfast, faithful and stresses the idea of "a belonging together" of those involved in the love relationship. There it was! This love that God has for ME, this love that God has for YOU is a love that says we belong to Him! Oh, how I hope you are able to fully grasp this.
As women, connection is important to us-- even to the most avowed loner. We are emotional beings and find those connections essential to our well being. That is how God has created us. And although God has designed us for relationships with others, we must never lose site of the fact that He first designed us for relationship and fellowship with Him.
No matter what season of life you or I are in, whether we feel that we belong in one circle or the next; it doesn't matter. WE BELONG in an amazing love relationship with God.
And that answer was well worth the wait. :)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
What Am I Doing?
That question is one that I continue to ask myself over and over again. As I sit at my computer trying to compose an initial post for my blog, I am continually asking myself, "What am I doing"? Have I lost my mind or am I doing something God has designed for me? Let me just begin by being completely honest with you. At this point, I am more closely relating to the first thought--I have lost my mind and I am scared. Now I know that fear is not something that I am supposed to claim as a Child of God. However, I also know that God knows my heart and there is no need in me trying to be something that I am not. I stand with an unveiled heart before Him and I believe that He is purposing for me to stand before you with an unveiled heart as well. And so as I share with you what God is sharing with me, in spite of my imperfections and weaknesses and failures, I remain one who is daily captivated by His love and grace. Will you join me on this journey? And together we will share in the joy of being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory.
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